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Self Improvement

Some time ago I was forced to attend a Corporate Values training session, for my company. For those of you who have never had the pleasure this is a time when we all get together and share our feelings and learn how to play nice with one another. Ok, it really isn’t all that bad but it is a sad state of affairs when we need this kind of training for adults, some things were just simply common sense. But I did learn some things about myself and how I can improve my relationships with others so I thought I would share.

But first, allow me to get some things off of my chest, our instructors name was Barry and he was a really nice guy but in one of the all inclusive ideas of how we should treat other he never gave anything but a positive response to anyone. Someone give an answer well away from the point and he would encourage them. Sometimes we need correction and not enablement!

Anyway have always said that my group of friends are a type of people I call “story tellers.’ We all sit around and we share our experiences and tell stories and we are all pretty good at it because this is the primary way we communicate. But, I have found myself inclined to “Listen to tell my story” which is not a good communication model. Some times I listen to someone and then a story that relates to something they said pushes its way to the front of my brain, only to shut off my ears to the rest of what the person is trying to say. I don’t really want to understand their point; at this point I wouldn’t even think of asking questions to clarify because that would only delay my story, and that is what is important.

At any rate, I like to try to improve myself and maybe my struggles can help someone else as well.

3 replies on “Self Improvement”

part of being an effective communicator is to be a good listener. listening involves putting attention on what the speaker is saying not what you will say next.

there are probably many reasons why we are thinking of the response or repartee. ego is a big one.

the best way to listen is to suspend your beliefs and involve yourself with the speakers point of view. then you need to process that once again with your mind being quiet.

of course it also depends on how much you are focused on what is being said and how important it is to you to really listen to what they are saying.

a fun exercise is to pretend your life depends on listening to what someone is saying. if you drift off you loose your life. see what happens when you try this.

If you’re ever interested in exploring a Christ-centered program to develop your communication, I offer a tremendous program called “Real Talk.” 🙂

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