Over the weekend I was bowling with my wife, working on my hook, and I told her that recently I have been learning more and more that I had some traces of arrogance in my when it comes to my salvation. I wasn’t quite able to articulate it to her like I wanted to so I changed the subject and thought about it some more. The following are the conclusions I came to.
It isn’t that I believe I am something good that God saved, the more I read and learn about Reformed thinking and historical theology in general I have learned more about the doctrine of total depravity. It is the beginning point of both Calvinism and Armenians, and I like to think of it most like an old western. Everyone but Jesus is wearing a black hat; Jesus is the only one wearing a white one, because he is the only good guy. We are all completely lost and depraved in the eyes of God. All evangelicals preach that is terms of salvation but it seems that most of us drop it quickly there after.
I have found myself suffering from self righteousness that stems from legalism; I have followed the “rules” of Christianity so I am doing well. It is like I have moved up in the BCS pole and am getting closer to that national title shot. When in reality my righteousness is like a crack whore before the Lord, my best is still ugly and disgusting. Jeremiah was told to put is underwear in a rock and let the sea destroy it for a year, and then God commanded him to walk across the country in those beat up nasty clothes to show the people what their righteousness looked like.
The Gospel is that Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect sinless life, died a death in my place and now I wear his righteousness. I can not improve on the righteousness of Christ, not matter what rules I follow; I also can not tarnish it by my sin.
My daughter does things to try to please me, and she does things that annoy me (like not saying “Daddy” for the past three months) but it doesn’t change her position as my daughter or the depth of my love for her. The grace of God is stronger than even the love of our earthly parents; it covers out sins and redeems us unto our savior.